As happy as I am, I still feel like a wounded bird.
My broken wing flaps but I can't fly.
The fear that grips me when I think of ever going to that "place" again, is debilitating. 
The anxiety,
     the emptiness,
          the darkness,
               the sadness,
                     I just don't think I would survive this time. 
And scared as I am, I have hope that someday I will let it go and be free.
 
