As happy as I am.... and I am a Happy People.

As happy as I am, I still feel like a wounded bird.
My broken wing flaps but I can't fly.

The fear that grips me when I think of ever going to that "place" again, is debilitating.

The anxiety,
     the emptiness,
          the darkness,
               the sadness,
                     I just don't think I would survive this time.

And scared as I am, I have hope that someday I will let it go and be free.

Why I am doing it...

People wonder why I host charity events and what is in it for me.  I have to say -it is just what I was put on this planet to do. I found my calling and as weird as it is, my calling is to do charity work.  I have volunteered for my non profit, Charity Wings aka Scrapbook Royalty for the past 4 1/2 years. Its been an amazing journey and right now I am just hoping I can keep it going. I must admit, it has grown beyond my wildest dreams as well as beyond my capabilities.  There is so much more to running a non profit organization then just doing good deeds.

So I am asking you, my friends to please support what I do.

I do not get paid
I do not do this to promote myself
I do not do this for pats on the back
I do it because this is what I was put on this planet to do.

Our next big effort is coming up very very quickly.  Sadly, the support on this event from the community has not been as strong as I had hoped.  We put so much into these events. We have amazing manufacturers and designers on board but for some reason, I just couldn't convey the message about this event.

So I am going to try one more time here on my blog...

This is a charity event to raise money and awareness for Crops of Luv. This wonderful organization makes memory books for children with critical illnesses.  Some of these children win the battle and some of them die.  Either way, the families have this amazing gift of love and rememberance for this time in their child's life.  Its is an amazing testament of love and compassion to take someone's photos and document their life. These women do this as a free service and I want to help them.

You can be a part of this.  Here is how...

• Sign up for LIVE at CHA. Its a online event. all you need is the internet and you can participate. 
• Make a donation through our website
• Participate in the online auction. I will be posting auctions on my fb, and blog and more...Jan 29,30, and 31st.  so keep and eye out 
• Help spread the word about the event. You can download one of the two flyers below here add them to your blog, newsletter, email it out, facebook, twitter... anywhere you can and link back to our website so they can sign up.
• We also have a little blinkie that you can pull from the blog on the right.

Flip-Pal winner!!

and the winner is...

Allyson Evers!

 CONGRATULATIONS!!  I HAVE YOUR FLIP PAL FOR YOU!

this raffle raised a whopping $460 for Charity Wings!  we try to do raffles every month and all of the money goes to supporting us so we can support you!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

We are raffling off a Flip-Pal Mobile Scanner! for just $5 a ticket!

Want one of these babies! they are amazing and everyone needs one!! Just go to the Charity Wings Website and get your tickets today!

Drawing to be held on December 21st, 2010, just in time for Christmas!!

Leave a comment here about my first video :) and get a bonus ticket!!

Seaside Soiree...

The Seaside Soiree was amazing! It put me behind on opening my matchboxes tho!

and tomorrow is my bday so I am hoping i will be able to get caught up on the goodness of the 23 days of Christmas swap tomorrow!

I will be posting photos. my stuff is scattered i 5 different cars right now! so crazy!

25 Days of Christmas

Today is the first day of the 25 days of Christmas Countdown!

I joined an awesome swap (A Swap for all Seasons) and what I had to do was alter 25 little matchboxes and put a gift inside each one and number them. Then I got 25 boxes back in the mail and today was the first day to open!

So my box today was from Hope Griffin and she lives in the UK somewhere.

The box is just too cute and has a really cute little embellishment inside.

I just went to Hope's Blog and she started from #25 and she opened 2 today. One of them is mine! Can you guess which one? :)


I can't wait to open the rest of them!

Handmade for the Better! Handmade for Good!

We had such a good time!!


Halloween came early this year in the Scrapbook Royalty Booth at Scrapbook Expo Ontario!

how we get so much done and stay awake!

loved the bat headband Sheila was wearing!

some of the awesome volunteers

winner of the Cricut Imagine Raffle! this raffle Raised $1400!! for Charity Wings


awesome Brenda who let us crash her crop and was so amazingly sweet!

The whole booth and the volunteers were Creepy Cuties! It was so fun and so productive and we raised about $2400 in donations! Some of which will be donated to Pink Link. A wonderful organization founded by my friend Vicki Tashman. I love what they do!

And Expo fell on Tiara Friday! so I had to post a photo of myself wearing my tiara which of course I had on... and her it is... and here are the photos of my brave girl and tiara friday sistas!

Lara and Jayme

and its Tiara Friday again!!

So join our fb page "Tiara Friday- The Movement"

Lara is giving away the most beautiful piece of jewelry! I just love it! go to her blog and post! This girl is so awesome!

And I am posting Tiaras for Donations on the Charity Wings website. The box just came so hope to get it posted tomorrow!

And Crop at Tiffany's March 12, 2011!

Registration opens on Nov 1st and the first 30 peeps get a Super Awesome Sign Up Bonus!!

dont miss it!

I read this over and over...

Well, not over and over and over but I definitely go back and read my "other blog" from time to time.

It reminds me where I was and how far I have come and the struggle to get here. It reminds me that because I am human I feel pain and that is natural.

And that because I am human, I can bend and adapt to the life that I have instead of the life that I thought I was going to have.

And that because I am human, I will cry, I will feel sad, I will feel defeated but I don't have to be any of those things.

So I have been to 4 Brave Girl Camps and spent a month of my life in the last 8 months in Idaho with amazing groups of women. And because I am human, I will love them, I will miss them, and I will cherish them, and I will never never forget them.

This year was the way it was because of my experiences past present and future I loved them all!

my first camp was with these ladies right here and I learned just how much women could lift eachother up.







in the end when we had to say goodbye it was bittersweet. we had made so much progress but were all excited to go home and put what we had learned into effect




















these amazing women were at the last camp I went to. I hate that I can't post every picture on here of every girl I met at camp. I HATE. that it is because of time and lack of it that I am not able to tell you about each and every one of them... they are all worth a story...

but I LOVE that the reason I have no time is because my life is so full and that it is full of getting to do charity work every single day.

The women on this pier were at the 3rd camp I went to.... It was a truly special experience... because....








I got to spend it with one of the most amazing women I have ever known. Someone that I am lucky to call my friend and my partner in Charity Wings. Someone that I have the utmost respect for and someone who I strive to be like every day.











these women were at the last camp I was at and I am soooooo in love with all of them! Participants, staff, it was just a freaking love fest! These women are going to be the light when I am in the dark. I know it.















saying good bye is never easy. But we know we will see eachother again.












I met such amazing women at this camp. young, old, all shapes, sizes, colors.. I can't imagine another place on earth where you can do this...






































I can fly now.....







I can find Peace... and give it.....















I can smile....
Its been a year.
I can move forward.
I dont know where I am going
I dont know who I am
I dont know how, when, or why...
Im scared, Im scarred, and Im lonely, but at least I can fly.


This post dedicated to the amazing people I have met in the last year, some at camp, some on line, and some that just find me somehow. and mostly to Melody, Kathy and Grandma who made one month of my life this past year soooo good.

Published for the first time!

If you were following my Lucky 13 journey then you know it was an incredible one! I have one last bit of the journey to share...

We got published!! My dear friend Cheryl wrote the article and this little group of artists I assembled got a little shout out in Somerset Memories from it!

Unfortunately the credit for the page I created got switched with Michelle Van Etten's but still good!

Here are a few photos of my finished book.

This is the Cover that I made. The pages are all canvas so I used Clear Acrylic to create pages

All of the pages people created for me are amazing! My favorite page is this one (bottom) that Nan did for me. It was from my trip to Bainbridge Island, Washington. It was a turning point for me in 2009. I sent her this really dark photo that just perfectly described how I felt at that time and she used her crafty mind to make this. She turned the photo into an iron on and ironed it onto the canvas. It was genius! and yes, I took that photo of the little mushrooms :)

Some of us did an ATC swap. I used them to create a page. I used my ATC on my cover.

It was an amazing journey. I want to start another group... just need to figure out the deets!

I could just cry!

Its not a secret that I am not a detail oriented person. Accounting is one of the most anxiety inducing parts of Scrapbook Royalty/CharityWings for me. I have had this black cloud hanging over my head because we were behind on our tax filings. Even though we are a non-profit and don't owe taxes, we have to file and it has been a nightmare.

Volunteers have the best intentions when it comes to helping and the books kept being passed from one volunteer to the next. and then back to me partially done. It was horrible.

UNTIL I FINALLY REALIZED, THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU JUST HAVE TO PAY FOR!!

people told me that but i didn't listen.... I get it now. and my taxes are officially done!!

I would highly recommend Robert Borish if you need a great CPA. http://www.1040guys.com/

He did not tell me to write this but I am just so grateful and this is what I felt like doing!

So- off to the post office!

I have so much more awesome stuff to blog about... maybe tomorrow :)

I love to be a part...

just can't get my blog posts on!!!

wow! so weird that 10 days passed!

HAHA! NOW ITS BEEN WAY MORE THAN 10 DAYS! I FORGOT TO POST THIS! it says at the top of this post 10 days but today is actually September 29th and in 38 minutes will be September 30th!

I don't know how the time flies like that? What tha? Its been 10 days since my last post (HAHAHA SO MUCH MORE THAN 10 DAYS!! )? Weird...feels like 2!

I did have a creative night tho! (WEEKS AGO!) I spent some time making jewelry.
One was for my friend Wendy who is super crafty. She won a bet and I never welch on a bet! So here is the bracelet I made her...


SHE LIVES IN CANADA, I SHIPPED IT SLOW MAIL AND LAGGED GETTING TO THE POST OFFICE! SHE GOT IT TODAY! THAT IS HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE I WROTE THIS! IM JUST STILL LAUGHING..

I also made these pieces.



I am making stuff to post on the Scrapbook Royalty Etsy Site. I am so excited about this! want to donate?!? I am so glad Miss Vicky has taken this on. She is just one truly truly amazing gal.

We are taking donations for stuff to sell! email MissVicky@charitywings.org for info

Jennifer made this Etsy Store Banner and I just love it!This month we are raising money for A Place to Bark. An amazing no kill animal shelter run by Bernie Berlin.



This is my piece I am putting in the Etsy Store and when I get my butt in gear I am going to open an etsy store of my own!