Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Sparkle gone... i want it back

Yesterday I had a really nice distraction with a get together of some of the SBR volunteers. During dinner my friend Georgia told me to look at her and when I did she said, "Yup, your sparkle is gone" Wow. What do you say to that. Everyone tried to joke it off and offer me glitter and I said, " i need to get it back" or something like that. But it stuck with me. My sparkle is gone and I really need to get it back. I know Georgia was not saying it to be mean, it was just poignant. She is very wise.

I know the first step is to move out. It's just hard. Every time I try to pack a box I just get paralyzed with emotion and fear. What is waiting for me out there in that big scary reality we call life?

So I am trying to leave, but for some reason I keep looking back.
I hope when I finally do grow a pair and just make it happen that my sparkle will indeed return.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

This all takes time. Know you are not alone. Try to accept that your sparkle batteries may just need to rest and re charge

Meg said...

I hope you get your sparkle back too! You are such an inspiring person and I can't wait to see you happy again :)

Karin Hall said...

Oh, you have so much to give .. may the angels of God come over you and lift your heart and spirit and give you back your sparkle! Ask, Believe, Receive!

Jennifer Priest said...

Elena, you can't listen to everything everyone says. Just do what you gotta do! I saw this on Melissa K's blog and thought it applies: "To Be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make your something else is the greatest accomplishment"- Ralph Waldo Emerson. Just focus on moving and look towards the future.

Elena Lai Etcheverry said...

got lots packed today thanks to wonderful friends. I would have just sat around crying if they did not force me to pack and do most of it for me. trying my best to move forward. so hard

The Silotts said...

your sparkle is not gone just dimmer for a bit - it will shine bright again real soon. :-)

Sheila Goldsberry said...

Your sparkle isn't gone, it's just a little tarnished. A little work and a little bit of care and the sparkle will return.

Tumble Fish Studio said...

Oh, I don't think your sparkle is gone. Some may have to look a little harder to see it, but it's there. Maybe not in big neon colors on your forehead but your sparkle is part of you, your every fiber. It just might be temporarily dimmed a bit. When the veil of uncertainty is lifted it will be brighter than ever.

Instead of growing the pair you suggest, think of it as growing a pair of wings that will take you on a most wonderful new adventure. It takes a while for wings to unfold even for the butterfly and a little sitting and stretching them before taking off.