Sad Unicorn

I didn't know if I needed to post this, but then I realized I did.

Monday January 16th was supposed to be the start of my IVF cycle.  I have been doing all the last minute prepping and getting ready for what I have been so hopeful for.

I had stopped the BC pills on the 12th to regulate my cycle and I was supposed to have started my period. It had not come on the 16th which was suspicious.  When I got to the doctor's  for my baseline ultrasound, the nurse told me that I have 2 cysts, one on each of my ovaries. They are each about an inch long.  This is not good.  The cysts are likely from the "mock cycle" that we did to see if I can even carry a child.  So it had to be done, but this is the result.

They drew blood and sent me home.  I made it out of the doctor's office before the tears started coming.  This news was depressing to say the least.  More than that, it was frustrating.  Then, that afternoon I got the call.

My estrogen levels were at 1100. To put that into perspective, they want me to be at 100. The cysts are producing estrogen.  So I am back on BC pills to try to get the cysts to go back down.  I will be having another ultrasound on Jan 23rd.  Wish me luck.  I was so hopeful that my body might actually be capable of doing something it is supposed to do in regards to becoming pregnant. This set back, sets me back.

The weird things is, I had just written this blog post Saturday, and forgotten to publish it. I was so hopeful that day.  Weird.  Is this the brick wall slamming down for me to run into when things are going well?  I hope not. All I know is that right now, I am a sad unicorn.