Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Crazy long time! crazy full life!!

I have been wanting to post but just didn't know what to say. My life is finally turning around and I know that I have a bright positive amazing future ahead of me and I look forward to it. Its been a heck of a ride so far and i dont want the rollercoaster to stop.

So i drove up to San Francisco by myself! yes! all by myself! I think the furthest I have driven alone before is Disneyland! It was an amazing adventure full of phone chatting and face book. I can't help it! im a social fairy! I actually planned this trip with every intention of it closing the guilt bubble for me.

Here is what that is all about...

When I met Jean-Claude I had already laid my plans for moving to Taiwan. I was going to go there study Mandarin, learn about my culture and teach English. I had no intention of moving back stateside again for a long time if ever.... One of the last things i wanted to do before I left Cali was to drive up the 1 with my top down in my little miata. So I planned my trip, was going to stop in Monterrey to see Neddy B and my name sake Sydney Elena, and then head to SF to see other friends. I was all set when Jean offered to go with me and then he wanted to drive. I said he could come if we went in my car. top down in the Miata. he some how talked me into going in the Landcruiser and my trip was just not going to happen. So now I am in SF, I am visiting my wonderful friend Smell, (shelley :) and I will be leaving on Weds to drive down the 1 and take that trip and come full circle from where I was in 2001 when I met my husband. I seriously can't wait. I want to drive fast along the cliffs with the water below and a big sharp drop and THE TOP DOWN! I know that this is what I need to be able to take that last step. To be able to walk out the door and know that the house I have lived in for the last 7 years is no longer my home. It's hard but I can do it! I know I can!

Last night I went to "decompression" is a burning man 1 month reunion in SF. If you know what the Burning Man Project is you know that other than the social aspect of it, it is so not me. But Smell dressed me up as "lady luck" and off i went. Karima my new lovely friend was my guide and partner in crime for the night. I will leave the rest to your imagination but it was tons of fun and i got my sparkle back!

3 comments:

Meg said...

So glad that you have your sparkle back :)

allYson said...

I can see your hair in the wind...! That is a great drive, enjoy and can't wait to see you soon when you get back.

Sheila Goldsberry said...

Yeah! Glad to hear the trip is doing what it needed to do for you. Drive safe and don't forget to enjoy the view!