Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Never forget

I almost forgot.  I feel sheepish and small and a little ashamed. Gosh I can get so wrapped up in things that just don't matter.  darn you insecurities!!! I just read my friend Amy's blog about her husband's chemo journey and It was like being splashed with cold water which I needed because I had tears in my eyes at the end of it. Thank you Amy, I needed that.

Whatever pain you are in there is someone out there less fortunate than you.  I know this for a fact because you are reading this post.  That means you can read, and you have internet access.  Trust me, you are doing good :)

Focus focus focus on what you CAN do.

I tell people at events all the time, "If the economy has hit you hard. If you are struggling to keep your finances in order, think of the people who were struggling before this economic crisis.  They are even more in need.  Now is the time to think more, give more, and dig deeper. I am here to give you an opportunity to give in a small way or a large way. Its up to you- I'm just presenting an opportunity"

This resonates with some people. Some people understand that what I am doing may be small in the grand scheme of things but I am doing something.

If you join me, we can do something together.

Its Feb 29th.  You got an extra day. Make it count.

taking a leap
into March as a Happy People!

Monday, February 27, 2012

blah, poop, ugh, eeek!!!

ok. Trying to remember I am a happy people.  Feeling so whiny lately and I really really have such an awesome life. 

It's like this.  I have a million things I want to do.  + a million things I have to do + a million things people want me to do.  = not enough time. 

I so wish the days didn't fly by so fast.   It's not even that there aren't enough hours. There are but there is just so much I want/need to do!!  Yes, I need it!  :)

So I stopped to smell the roses and spend some time with girlfriends and I made this.

Her name is Hope.  She has on little boots that I used my 5 year old drawing skills to come up with -while looking at a boot :)  and she is holding an umbrella behind her back and enjoying a little downpour of paint and smooch spritz!  and thanks to Cynthia, she has on real blush.

And she has no eyes because she is asian and smiling :)  hee hee.

I can say that!

Oh! and she is a Happy People!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Life is good for a happy people

do you ever get an idea and it is so exciting you just want to scream it to the world? I have an idea :)

but you have to wait.

just think




:)  hee hee

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Who likes blogging?

Sometimes I love blogging, it can be so therapeutic and then sometimes, it can be a chore. Oh, maybe that is because I am trying to do this every day.. haha.

So, I have been having that dream where I am trying to run but I just can't get my body to move.  have you had that dream. If I remember correctly from my college days it's because when we are in REM we are paralyzed so that we don't jump off the bed and actually start running. I'm going to google that now of course :) you should too. I sometimes dream things and then they are in my head and poof! they become my reality.

this is not a recent photo at all!! :)
Well, anyway, so I have been having my running but not being able to run dreams and in my dream I say to myself, "This is so weird, this usually happens only when I am dreaming and I am not dreaming right now, so this is really weird."

I really have vivid dreams.  So much that I remember a lot of my dreams. And I have a lot of recurring dreams. I think I would make a good experiment for a dream therapist :)

I wonder if I am just feeling stuck and so I dream about running or trying to move and I can't and it is because I am stuck in this weird place with Charity Wings.  I don't want to give it up, but it takes so much to make it work and I find that I run out of resources.  So maybe I am not stuck. I am just not able to move forward as fast as I want to.

ahhhhh... blogging does help me :)

I'm a happy people. I hope you are too!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

ok. a post a day... well, weekday :)

Legoland California
with Matt & mini Matts
I did this post on Monday and then didn't publish it!!  Darn.  I am an old dog trying to learn new tricks!

I had a very nice weekend. It was spent playing and taking care of friends and people I love.  I really don't know what is better than that to me.  It's in my blood and part of my spirit to give.  It's not that I am a good person, it's that it is what makes me feel the best.

What makes me not feel the best is having my efforts be taken for granted.  Of course, in reality I have to remember to always give expecting nothing in return. And that is what I try to do but I don't always succeed.

So note to self.  Give without strings.

blogging does help me :)

I hope you had an awesome weekend too!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

oh yeah. it just keeps getting better

I love planning parties and events. I love getting people together and introducing them to new people.  I love it when people who met at an event I have organized become friends. 

I have 2 mixed media book clubs that I host each month and they are both so fun.

One if the first Thursday of the month at Gee Gee's Stamps and Stuff

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I'm 40 and Nothing is wrong with me.

I'm a 40 year old quirky girl who does not have any life threatening illnesses, has never broken a bone, never gets sick (refuse to), has healthy parents, healthy brother, wonderful boyfriend and awesome friends.

I get up every day and do what I love.  I have Charity Wings and good friends and that has saved me whenever I am down.

And I do get down.  My life is far from perfect. For one I have incredible insecurities and have a hard time believing that any one actually likes me.

And, I have not been able to have children of my own.  This is my biggest regret and most painful hole in my heart. I love kids.

I have a BA in Psychology and have never taken a class in Non-Profit anything.  I have insecurities about that and am going to change that about myself.

I don't run Charity Wings because I have a compelling story, illness, or reason to make a difference.  I just do it because it's what I am supposed to do.
I want to do good things and I think my real gift is bringing together my community to do good things with me.

This is my story.  I'm going to record it here on my blog.  I'm going to blog at least once a day for 30 days and see if I can form a habit. and maybe along the way I will find out who I am.

Let me explain

Oh wait.  that is the worst thing ever. I hate explaining myself. I hate being misjudged and having to "clear my good name"

Lately I have come under fire from some of the other non-profits that I have tried to raise money and awareness for.  Its is so hurtful and I am having trouble getting over it.  As my friend G says, this is my problem, I have to learn to be confident in myself.

I think it's just who I am, it's my genetic make up. I was born to do charity work.  NOT TO BE A SAINT.  I also born with an amazing fear and healthy appreciation for what is RIGHT AND WRONG.  Not that I always do the right thing.  I was a rebellious teen and a crazy fly by the seat of my pants, "where is the next fun" young adult.  But as I have gotten older, I learned that I can't lie, I can't fake it, and I only am a Happy People when I am doing the right thing.

So for three organizations to question what I do and not even bother to research why it is this way makes me so sad.  And well, it pisses me off.

I get caught up in the whirlwind of running a non profit with just volunteers and events stacked on top of eachother so here are some facts...';

Friday, February 03, 2012

i do it because I sincerely want to.

Criticism can be hard to hear.  Especially unfounded, unwarranted and misunderstood criticism but I have to say it is all something to learn from.  Even when people are dead wrong about me, I am still learning from what they say.

I don't do it for fame or fortune.  My income is below the poverty level but I have been blessed with an amazing family that supports me to the point that I can still pursue Charity Wings with almost no income.

I have NEVER EVER been paid for my work with Charity Wings aka Scrapbook Royalty.

I do this from my heart, I do the best I can and anyone that has ever had even a short conversation with me should know this.  If you don't you have judged me unfairly and without any foundation for what you think you know.

I am trying to make a difference and if it takes looking cute and having amazing artists make beautiful things for me to wear and running around with wings acting like a fairy and making people laugh to get noticed! SO BE IT! :)

I never take without giving back. I never ask for something without doing something in return. I challenge anyone to find someone who says I have.

Jealously is an ugly thing.  I'm ugly when I am jealous. And I do get jealous.  Its in our nature.  I challenge you to put the energy into starting a campaign to do some good.

Campaign for Positivity with James Hicks. Coming to Charity Wings newsletters very very soon.

Jump on a band wagon that makes the world a better place.