Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Saturday, September 08, 2012

sometimes you can't shake the ugly crap that happens to you.

I truly believe that our experiences shape who we are, why we do what we do, and most importantly our personalities.

The things that happen to us, good and bad create "thens"...

What is a "then"?

Its the other half to the "if"...

I learned about "if, then" in 5th grade at Flora Vista Elementary school in 1982 at before school computer class.  Yep, my mom put me in computer class in 5th grade. She really had high hopes for me.  Actually it was me and my little brother who was in 3rd grade I guess.  We will just say we were gifted and lucky to have an incredible mom.

Ok, so back to "if, then"

If A then B

It's crazy but our lives are all about reacting to the "if,thens"

If I want to buy a dress, then I need to make money.

If I want to see my friends, then I need to make plans with them.

If I need to make time for art, then I need to .... You get it!  :)

Sometimes the "if, then" is something we just have in our head and its totally wrong. It's something that someone in our lives has made us believe is true but really, it no longer applies.

To be less cryptic. Here is a just scratching the surface example:

In my past relationship I felt like if I went out with my friends, then I would have to deal with an upset significant other.

Now I don't have that relationship anymore but the "if, then" still applies. 

why? It's not fair!  And unfortunately it works both ways.  We react to others and other react to us.

"if" I want to change this reaction, "then" I need to understand it and "then" I can work on fixing it.

See how many "if,thens" you are automatically succumbing to and make a change!


Martha Richardson said...

Right words at right time...WOW! Great blog post & I see a journal page here!

danette said...

My past "if,then's' and even just my past have/has turned me it a hermit and afraid of how others see me so I totally get what you are saying, yet still struggle to feel secure or safe enough to make the change in my life.

geogems said...

...if we make time---then---you will have a B'day present from 2 years ago...shame on both of us. there is a saying much on this same line: "where your heart is---therein lies your treasure." I do treasure you and the work you do...