Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Cry in the shower?

Does anyone else do this?  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the GRIEF and HOPE and that the tears just come. They come and they work their way through my whole body and before I know it, I am wracked with sobs that come straight from my broken heart.  My broken body has betrayed me and it makes it very very hard to LOVE MYSELF.

So that even though my mind tells me lots of people love me, I feel completely alone because I don't love myself. 

In my heart I have such doubt.

Today I am leaving on a spiritual journey. One that I set an intention for at Brave Girls Symposium.  I am going to a retreat where no one knows me, well, other than what they may have read here :)  I am going to walk through those doors at 4 pm today and be Elena.  Just Elena.  I am going to ground myself on my path to have a baby. My phone and computer will be off. I am going to disconnect from this anxiety filled place that I am living in and look for me.

I don't know what will happen and admittedly I am very nervous.  I know I am holding my heart in my own hands and fixing it is all on me. So I am going to try.

See you on the other side.
#findingelena #findingmyhope


Miss Vicky said...

loving you and I am crying also

Rose Curtis said...

awwww big hugs my friend... you are a brilliant, strong, creative woman... and you actually have all the answers within you ... you just need someone to listen to you long enough and you will remember them all!

Robin Suzanne Mack-Boeder said...

You amaze me Elena and wishing you peace in your journey....remember to laugh along the way and keep journaling. You will and you can get through anything you set your mind to....❤️

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