Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Saturday, October 29, 2016

It occurred to me yesterday...

As I was riding the roller coasters at Disneyland with Paul I realized that this roller coaster ride is not just about me anymore. I post on this blog, and on Facebook etc. so that I can hopefully raise awareness or bring a needed message to someone that it might resonate with, but really, this journey is so much more than mine.

So, back up a little. I wanted to go to Disneyland with Paul because 1) its always fun! 2) he bought me a pass for my bday last year and we have barely used it. 3) It's fun to watch Paul Malone let his "kid" out sometimes and 4) I am hoping this will apply to me very soon.

So we went, rode all the roller coasters and it was a very fun day.  I did check Facebook a couple of times during the day and I saw that the photos I had posted about my uterine lining measurement was blowing up.  Well, for me, 300 plus likes is blowing up!

So, here I am at Disneyland and all of the sudden I get this feeling like.  I might disappoint all these people!!!  What if this doesn't work.  I already know how I will feel.  I just try not to think about it.  But what about my village?!?!!

The way social media has evolved, it really does feel like all of these people are cheering me on as I am battling these demons and holding their breath hoping that the demons don't swallow me up.

But what if they do.

Trying not to think about it.

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