Becoming a mother at 46 and the adventure of having a baby unicorn!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

OMG!! I know what my story is!!

I have a story! I didnt think I did. but I know what it is now!!

pretend it my picture and my name :)

People always ask me why I started Scrapbook Royalty and I say "because it is what I know how to do and I can do it well" But the real reason I stared Scrapbook Royalty, and I mean what it is today, not just a group of women having fun Scrapbooking and raising money for charity, the real reason I started SBR is because I needed to fill the gaping hole left in my life and in my heart from not being able to be a mother. I can't believe it took me so long to get this out of my mouth. Dang Brave Girls Camp!! Making me Grow!!

My whole life what I have dreamed of is having a husband and family with cute mixed babies... everyone knew I was going to end up with a non-asian husband. Heck I wanted to get surgury on my eyes to make them big and round all my teen years!
i pulled this picture off my other blog...

ok, so back to my story...Mine is not a fairy tale... not a traditional one anyway...

i have not read this book but it has peaked my curiosity

But that is what i had dreamed of... that was all i wanted and i spent my life falling in"love" over and over again, looking for the boy that wanted to marry me and make my dreams come true. Then I found one that looked really good. My mom had even checked his credit since she did his home loan ;) but the truth is, he was a good man who wanted to take care of me and would never cheat on me or leave me. So he got me and for a couple of years I figured we wouldn't try for a baby yet so I started Scrapbook Royalty and did a couple of events that first year. I loved that I had this awesome company to sink my heart and passion into. That I was good at it was a bonus and that I got to meet so many amazing people changed my life.

When we started the baby journey I thought, "easy, go off the pill and you get pregnant" But really, i had gone off the pill long before and didnt even think about the fact that I didnt get pregnant. I just thought we were careful with the dates and that i knew my body so well. What a surprise when we didnt get pregnant and then when we COULDN'T get pregnant. And then not knowing why. Why was this happening? My body and soul were rejecting him. the fates were not going to give in, I was not going to have a family with this man. Every month i would get my period and it would send me into a deep depression, It would be another knife stabbing me in my heart. the only thing that would keep me going is my non-profit and the sense of worthiness that i felt there. The community that needed me and that I needed right back.

And so I threw myself into Scrapbook Royalty and it saved me. It gave me purpose, it became my child that I nurtured and watched grow. It made me happy and I knew that if I left the planet that day, that moment, I would be leaving something beautiful on this planet. Scrapbook Royalty saved me.


Gloria said...

wow..Elena thats both sad and happy..i love you my sweet friend..i really do....G

Brittany Cooper said...

My dearest, adorable, fabulous, and terribly missed Elena, I love you and miss you and my heart just cried for you as I read this. I am proud to call you my friend! You are so brave. And seriously well done for turning your hurt into something beautiful, a gift. Love you

Kat said...

So Insightful my dear friend. God doesn't always give us what we want, but he always gives us what we need. Life has a funny way of working out. Never give up on your dreams.

Krystie said...

Elena, my beautiful friend with GORGEOUS eyes, you may not have been given a baby....but you have a LOT and I mean a TON of children....and as our Mother, we love, respect and adore you. Your story reminds me of the country song, "God's Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers." xoxo

Sweet Escape said...

wow! elena,,,it's sweet to hear your story. i commend you on putting it out there and being strong. Life sometimes letting us know what is right or wrong for us!!,,you do an awesome job at running SBR,,,keep it going!!

Sheila Goldsberry said...

The cool thing about a story is that it never really has to end, nor does it have to be written in ink so that it can't change. There are always new chapters and new characters to add to the story of your life and one day, that little person that needs you will find you, unitl then you have an organization that is very much your baby...daily it brings you joy, it brings you sorrow, it brings much love and something new everyday! Right now you're just lucky that it's not bringing you worms, or gross frogs or stinky diappers.

Each event is your child and they are fabulous because you nourish them with love and caring!

Elena Lai Etcheverry said...

i have the best friends. thanks for reading and thanks for being a part of my wonderful blessed life.

i do know how lucky I am. i love what I do and I love all the people i get to be with because of what i do. thank you thank you thank you!